#StoryTuesday :Suicide Note (Page One)

Today we begin a new story on our #StoryTuesday series. The story is titled 'Suicide Note' and new episode will be published on Tuesdays. Suicide Note will be written in pages (episodes). Read episode one below

If you are reading this, it means it's too late to help,  I am not going to blame anyone for my actions instead I will tell you my story and let you be the judge but before I do I need you to know some things about me.

My name is Benson Afolabi Richard, I am 18 years old, I like to write and listen to music, I am also smart which is the only thing I am proud of. I am not much of talker as I get easily intimidated. I was only able to make three friends, one is late and the remaining two have distance themselves from me lately.

My dad left us when I was four and the next time I saw him was when I lost my twin brother, then I was five. I can't really remember much about my dad because even when we had him, I never felt like I had a father, he distanced himself but one thing I can never forget was the way he looks at us. I can't really say why but whenever my dad takes a look at my twin and I, I could see it in his eyes that he hates us and the news of my brother's death was like a thing of joy to him, I remember I overheard him telling my mum, "at least one of them doesn't have to worry about the truth", the meaning of this statement became much clearer as I grew older.

After my dad left us, mum became a wrecking ball as she gradually drowns herself in self-pity, alcohol, hard substances and home service sex.  To be honest at times I don't blame my mum for the way things turned out because when my dad left us he left us with nothing, three months after he left we were evicted from the house we thought my dad had bought and this was the beginning of my misfortune. 

We relocated to Festac and my mum literally stopped caring about my wellbeing though not immediately, I mean I have to give her credits, at first she did what she could to make us survive. I stayed at home all the time when we first got to Festac as my twin and my mum will go look for how to make ends means and it was during this period that we lost my twin, he was involved in a hit and run.

I didn't say my first set of words till when my twin brother died and just in case you wondering yes we were identical. It was assumed I was dumb, I couldn't speak so I learnt how to write fast and that won't have been possible if not for my mum's friend aunt Florence, she really helped on how to communicate, she even taught me some sign languages. 

My love for music came as a result of a portable CD player I found when we were packing to Festac, mum said it belongs to dad, this CD player was my best friend as I had no friends and wasn't steady with my speech. So when I feel lonely I just listen to Bob Marley's CD album over and over again.

There are times I wish my twin was alive maybe life would have been easier for me, maybe I won't have gone through some of the depressing things I went through, maybe I won't have done what I eventually did. There are also times I blame my twin for everything that happen to my mum, if only he had not die, my mum probably won't have fallen off the wagon but life is cruel, it doesn't give you much and it takes everything from  you, a lesson I learnt when I was seven  years old.

So there you have it, that's everything you need to know about me, oh wait I forgot to add that I didn't attend nursery school, I started my education from primary one, aunty Florence was a school teacher, she was the one that helped me with the basic learning while I was also learning how to formulate my words better. Aunty Florence was fond of me for many reasons and one of them was my ability to learn quickly. I am not like every other kid, I don't have a best food as I eat what I see, and there are even times I have nothing to eat aside to drink water to fill up my belly.

So yes there it is, everything about myself I think you need to know, any other thing I recollect I will write down but for now that is all about Benson Afolabi Richard.

New episode next Tuesday